Orange Rhino Challenge Accepted : Yell Less Love More
Do you yell at your kids? Is it very often? Do you feel guilty soon after yelling at them? Oh! Do not beat yourself up for that, you are not alone. The Orange Rhino challenge has come to our rescue. Lately, I have lost my temper often. As kids grow, they start exploring things around and end up being mischievous and troublesome. Having said that, little do they know that what they are doing is wrong. Let’s give them benefit of the doubt and try to learn how to deal with such situations.
Parenting is not an easy job! You are raising a beautiful soul so you should be just perfect in whatever you do. Taking care of her all day drains out my sanity by the end of day and I tend to lose my temper often ( which I just hate). Lately, I would feel guilty that I just yelled at that little helpless love of my life. I am not ashamed of reading a book to change my parenting style because I know I want to give and be the best. I came to know about the orange rhino challenge from a Facebook mommy support group and I cannot thank enough.
The birth of Orange Rhino Challenge ?
Sheila McCraith, creator of The Orange Rhino Challenge was a next door mother like all of us to four wonderful boys. Then one day her handyman came by unexpectedly and, much to her embarrassment, witnessed her yelling at her four young sons. That is when she decided the yelling simply had to stop. The book has the complete story of how the orange rhino evolved, do give it a read to know it all.
How does the challenge work?
The book has a yelling meter which has different levels to mark your score. Level 1 through Level 7, acceptable to not so cool respectively. All you have to do is pick your day to start the challenge. Every time you yell, look at the yelling meter to see the level and its respective score. If it’s acceptable you are in a good place but, if it is not cool or so not cool, then you will go back to day 0 and restart the whole process again from day 1. If you score the level 7 then you get to the negatives. So are you ready to without yelling for 30 days ?
The book helps only if you are persistent and you have all the will power to stop yelling at your kids. The trigger tracking sheet helps you to recognize what are your trigger points and helps you to figure out an alternative to yell less.
Q&A activity for you to answer after every chapter is mainly to assess yourself to know your perspective.
Why is this under personal challenge and not a book review?
Well, to answer your doubt, I am accepting this challenge to yell less. Eventually, no yelling for 30 days. So here, I will be jotting down my progress in the ORC on a daily basis. I will also include my trigger points. The author says, when we go out in public and know there are audiences the challenge is taken up seriously and hence here I am. All set to be the ORANGE RHINO MOM.
I will be back with my Day 1 details tomorrow. So do you yell at your kids? Have you tried any other alternatives? Do let me know in the comments section below.
07/10/2017 Day 1
It was a pretty good start today morning. I started off by saying “No yelling” and got into the kitchen for my daily chores. The day went pretty smooth. There were two instances I was in a verge of losing my cool but my husband had my back who kept reminding me about the challenge. I counted to 10 and took a deep breath and got over with it like a boss.
Every time I got angry I gave her a hug. Every time she looked at me I gave a smile. That was an amazing feeling. Guess what? She did not throw any tantrums today!! Yay!
The two trigger points were her messy lunch and dinner time. Phew! day 1 is over with all enthusiasm. I hope this continues for the next 30 days.
08/10/2017 Day 2
I scored pretty well today too but I saw my husband losing it often today. Sigh! So it was a lazy Sunday start, ended with a zoo visit. She threw enough tantrums around there but my smile never faded. There was an episode where she sat on the footpath because she did not want to sit in the stroller “FACE PALM”. I stood there giving her time to cry and let it out but, my husband couldn’t stand that any longer instead picked her up and just started walking.
After reading the book, I realized we should always allow them to get off the heat moment by themselves. What I noticed with my daughter was she would cry even more if I tried to console her. I started giving a hug, gradually distracted and once she calms down told her why she couldn’t do what she wanted to.
I know she is still small to understand but, hey its for us to practice. It worked for me!!
09/10/2017 Day 3
My husband left to work today and it’s just us again for the whole week. I know it will be difficult as I will have to take up everything alone. So I was a bit hesitant this morning, very skeptical and doubtful about the progress. The “What ifs” kept pulling me back.
I did not give up on this. So started of the day with her breakfast. She hates it when someone feeds her. Like a normal mothers fear thinking “Will she eat enough?”, I would try feeding her and that would give way for a good half an hour cry. So today I did not give that a try. I just said to myself “She will know how much she wants to eat! Don’t worry!”. To my surprise she finished her breakfast.
I just passed another hurdle and learnt another lesson “No force feeding”
10/10/2017 Day 4
We had a fresh start this morning, soon after talking to daddy over video call. My mornings will be stress-full if I have not decided on a breakfast menu. Today everything was planned so it was like a breeze.
She was on her exploring phase and kept tossing things on the floor, which was an ignite to my anger. No yelling, I thought and looked her in the eye and said “No” with a firm voice. She did cry a little but stopped tossing things over.
Lesson learnt “A firm No can do wonders“.
11/10/2017 Day 5
Today was not a great day. Very stressful and I ended up yelling at her as she tossed a whole mug of water on the floor. It was my mistake for not putting it back after using and at that moment I never realized. But I felt very guilty for doing so.
She deliberately looked at me in my eyes and smiled away looking at my reaction. She clearly wanted my attention and she got it. Lesson learnt “Listen to your kids when they need attention”
And I am back to Day 0.
12/10/2017 Day 1
Its a fresh start again. Not so happy but hey it is okay. I am no super woman to be perfect. Today was comparatively a good day. I have written down and pinned all the trigger points around my house. Hope I take this a little more seriously.
Husband man is back from work and I have a monitor around for the rest of the week.
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